HATE! Right?! It HAS to be!!! What ELSE can it be?! Well, let's break this down.
But where does hate come from? We don't just have hate in us for no reason.
UNFORGIVENESS.
The truth of the opposite of love. You see, before you can truly hate someone, there is unforgivenss somewhere in your heart towards them. At some point, you were hurt. They did something, and it upset you, and you were never able to move past that.
Let me let you in on a secret: you don't forgive that person for their benefit, you forgive them for yours. For your peace, you forgive them.
It's no longer a question of IF they deserve it or not. Did I deserve Christ sacrificing himself on a cross for me? Absolutely not! But he did it anyway. Regardless of everything I had done and even long before I was born.
Forgiveness is not something that is earned. You can't earn it, I can't earn it, no one can. Mistakes happen. Even if they did it intentionally and it was not a mistake, they should be forgiven.
Please, do not confuse what it is that I am saying. I am not saying that you don't make wiser choices. In fact, I encourage you to do so. This is not a Peanuts cartoon where Charlie Brown is constantly allowing Lucy yo pull the football away from him. My man should have given up on that a LONG time ago!
You do not keep opening the door for them to hurt you. But at the same time, holding on to things that hurt you benefits no one.
There are people that always somehow manage to talk about a hurtful situation of the past as if the situation just occurred yesterday. And they relive that moment over and over again where they were badly wounded by someone and the emotions are as intense as they were the day that it happened, although months, or even years have passed.
The painful reality is, the person that caused the wound moved on and has more than likely forgotten the pain they caused. Maybe they are even unaware.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” Luke 17:3-4 NIV (Bible Gateway)
That's a tough scripture. I get it. It's hard to keep forgiving someone over and over again. But notice the scripture also tells you to rebuke (to express sharp disapproval or criticism of someone because of their behavior or actions) them, or, call them out on their mess. Make them aware that their actions were hurtful. Make them aware that they have wounded you and that you now have an offense. But, forgive them when they ask.
The next question is: But what if they DON'T repent? Then can I hold onto the grudge?
Um, no.
THAT's not gonna work either. You hold onto that unforgivness and bitterness begins to form. You can't keep licking a lemon and then eating your food and expect everything to tase as it should without the sour tase of the lemon in your mouth.
It's time to ditch the lemons, drink from the Living Water provided by The Holy Spirit. Allow the LIVING water to wash out the sour taste of the lemon and restore your taste buds. Allow The Holy Spirit to wash over you and give you peace. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Challenge: Pray and ask The Lord to give you a forgiving heart. Ask Him to HELP you forgive the person that hurt you. Also ask God to move on their heart as well. Remember, it is only God that can change the heart of a man,
Blessings,
<3 Nia Grace
